Road Trip

Last Sunday, the wife and I decided to take a bit of a road trip.  This is something that we used to do all the time when we were dating.  It was not always the best, nor most exciting time, but we always had fun and adventure.

So we woke up Sunday morning, I made us some breakfast of pancakes and sausage, and we got ready for the day.  While the wife was getting ready to go out for the unknown , I was on line looking for places of interest.  She called to me that a client of hers had just gone to the casino in Battle Creek.  I figured "What the heck.".  I did a little research on line and got directions to the Tanger outlets in Howell and from there to the casino in Battle Creek.  In my search i came across a little place called "CORNWELL'S TURKEYVILLE", just outside Battle Creek.  I remembered hearing something about this place, or a place like it on the food network, but did not get any info on it at that time nor did i get directions to it.

After shopping for a while and embarrassing the bejeebers out of the wife at the COACH outlet, we decided to head out for out next stop.  She still had no idea where we were going. 

By this time we were both getting hungry and instead of paying 7$ for a hot dog and fries at the out let we chose to make our way and see what we would find along it.   About 10 minutes down the road i remembered CORNWELL'S TURKEYVILLE.  I Asked her if she could wait about an hour to eat and we agreed it would be ok.  I was secretly hoping that there would be signs to direct me to this "turkeyville". 

We shortly saw a road sign for "North Road North"  and both remarked how redundant that was and laughed about getting off there just for the tom foolery.  Well wouldn't you know it, the next sign we saw was for TURKEYVILLE and it was N Road North.  We exit the freeway with the certain chance of getting lost trying to find TURKEYVILLE. It turned out to be a mere block from the exit. 

We pulled in to a nearly empty parking lot, never a good sign at a new eatery, came inches from flattening an old woman who must of believed the laws of physics did not apply to here when a motor vehicle was involved.  The place looked huge and promising despite the deserted exterior. 

I am now picturing large homemade meals of roasted succulent turkey, steaming mounds of mashed spuds, and savory dressing along side delicious cranberries.  We open the doors to find a cafeteria line set up.  We should of known we were in trouble when the teenage counter girls looked at us as if to say, "Dear god! What are you doing here?  Do you enjoy tasteless old people food?".  No one the less we ventured forth in to the unknown.  We both decided on the reasonably priced turkey dinner with mashed and dressing , cole slaw and cranberry relish.  we ordered and got a drink each and slide down the rail to the dessert section.  Promising peanut butter pie for her and hopeful rhubarb pie for me.  Still wondering how we are to get our food to the tables with out a tray, we pay for our meals still hopeful.  Outcome the plastic trays with our tin plates of, far less hopeful now, turkey.  as we round the corner and down the step into the dinning room we got a chill as though Death had come for dinner.

A very dark wood dimly lit room void of any sound other than that of two elderly diners decaying as they sat mushing the gruel in their bleak gobbers.  The utter silence was entirely creepy to say the least.  We positioned ourselves in the center of the room in hopes that anything exciting might come to pass.  Unfortunately the most exciting thing to happen was a spot of gravy on my flannel shirt.

The food itself was, how to say this, beyond bland.  Even the cherry coke lacked flavor.  how they managed to stay open based on food quality is a mystery i could not care less to explore. Yet the fact that offer DINER THEATRE...... now that puzzles me to no end.

We finished what we could stomach of the meal and went in search of the "bakery".  Once more can we say "waste of time".  A few loaves of bread and a gift shop to compete poorly with any Cracker Barrel. 

I learned two things from this trip, other than don't talk about your Dockers wallet in a COACH store with your wife.  You can't always expect decent food at a tourist trap, and the difference between creamy coleslaw and vinegar cole slaw.

So if you ever get the offer or opportunity to head on out to Battle creek I suggest you go.  I know we are heading back this summer.  On the other hand if you are offed a free meal at CORNWELL'S TURKEYVILLE,  I recomend a pass.